Remembering our Friends

This page is dedicated to members of the Triangle Ostomy Association who have passed on. Our friends will be missed, but not forgotten.

In Memory

Frederic Toms (April 19, 1941 – August 17, 2021)

Cary, North Carolina – Frederic Earl Toms, 80 of Cary, passed away in Roanoke, Virginia on August 17, 2021 from a rupture of a cranial AVM while on vacation at Smith Mountain Lake. Born April 14, 1941, in Forest City, North Carolina, he was the son of the late J O and Eunice Henson Toms. A University of North Carolina Law School graduate, Fred practiced law for 40 years in Wake County and was inducted into the NC Bar Association General Practice Hall of Fame in 2011. He served as a member of the Cary EMS Board of Directors for 12 years. Fred had been a member of the Raleigh Jaycees, Cary McGregor Rotary Club, Senior Survivors (Wake County “geezer” lawyers), Carolinas’ Nature Photographers Association, and Triangle Area Ostomy Association.

He leaves behind his wife of almost 55 years, Pam; daughters Merritt Tracy (Paul) and Cindy Lickert (Bill); grandchildren Jake and Cameron Tracy and Sean and Kellen Lickert. He is also survived by brothers Don (Marilyn) and Randy (Nancy) and their families.

Fred valued family, love, nature, and laughter. He was always cracking jokes and making his friends and family laugh. He was an amateur photographer and loved walks in nature where he could see birds and wildlife and capture their images. He enjoyed boating on Smith Mountain Lake and teaching his grandkids how to fish. He will be deeply missed by those who loved him.

Fred’s family is hopeful that a Celebration of Life service can be safely held at a later date. For now, they will miss your hugs and handshakes. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in memory of Fred Toms to Yates Mill County Park or the Triangle Land Conservancy.

To plant trees in memory, please visit our Sympathy Store.

Published by The News & Observer on Aug. 22, 2021.

Dorothy “Dot” Durfey Hoover(July 25, 1922 – October 21, 2016)

Dorothy Miriam Cromwell Durfey Hoover, 94, of Raleigh died Friday, October 21, 2016. She was born in Raleigh on July 25, 1922, and was the fourth daughter of Cary Kennedy and Margaret Allen Durfey.

After attending Myrtle Underwood School, Broughton High School, and Peace College, she went to work for Peden Steel Company where she met Paul Absalom Hoover, Jr. On October 13, 1945, she and Paul were married at First Presbyterian Church in Raleigh. Shortly after, they moved to Birmingham, Alabama when Paul took a job with US Steel. Homesick for her family and Raleigh, they moved back to Raleigh in 1948 and Paul went to work with his father-in-law at Cary Durfey Insurance Agency.

Dot was a life-long member of First Presbyterian Church and, in 1974 was made a Life Member. She taught second-grade Sunday School, was Circle Chairman, and was one of the founding members of the “Kitchen Class.” She acted as chauffer for every other lady in her Circle who couldn’t drive or didn’t have a ride to Circle meetings. At her death, she was the oldest member of the Church, a distinction of which she was awfully proud. She was a member of the Vanguard Class, a class that her father had helped found. Outside of her family, nothing meant more to her than her Church, and she was incredibly proud that her grandson, Paul Absalom Hoover, IV, is to be made a Deacon later this year. In what was to be her very last conversation, she and Paul talked at length about the honor. She was delighted.

Dot was one of a dying breed of Southern women. Women who love to cook, whose table is always set for those who have nowhere else to go, who have spines of steel, who can find humor in virtually every situation, and who, though her body was aging, never lost her youthful zest for life. She delivered Meals on Wheels for over 20 years, until May of this year – and she was the driver! Although she loved delivering the meals and talking with the recipients, the greatest part of the event was getting a hot dog at Roast Grill afterwards.

One of her best friends said, “Everything was more fun with Dot. Even the most everyday things were more fun because Dot was there.”

Dot was predeceased by her husband of 55 years, Paul A. Hoover; and by her sisters, Frances Durfey Kropp, Florence Durfey McNamara, and Betty Whitmel Durfey Lyon. She is survived by her sister, Margaret Durfey Timberlake of Alexandria, Virginia; her son, Paul Absalom Hoover, III and wife, Tricia; her daughter, Betty Hoover Allen and husband, Michael Weaver; by her grandchildren, Alston Hoover Hayes and husband, Will; Paul Absalom Hoover, IV and wife, Sally; Christopher Blake Allen; Charles Carroll Allen; Page Hoover Allen; and by her great-grandchildren, Wilson Edwards Hayes, Dorothy Macon Hayes, and Cameron Gray Allen.

Funeral Service were held on Sunday, October 23 at First Presbyterian Church in Raleigh at 2:00pm. Visitation followed. Interment was private at Oakwood Cemetery in Raleigh.

The family wishes to thank the nurses at Transitions LifeCare for their incredible ministry to Dot and to the family.

Memorials may be made to First Presbyterian Church Friendship Fund or to Wake County Meals on Wheels.

Arrangements by Brown-Wynne Funeral Home, Saint Mary’s St., Raleigh.

Janice K. Pitney(October 5, 1948 – May 18, 2015)

Janice K. Pitney passed away May 18, 2015 after surviving ovarian cancer for nearly ten years. She was born in Salem, OR on October 5, 1948 to the late Phil and Katherine Pitney and moved often during her childhood as her father opened retail department stores for Montgomery Ward.

Janice graduated high school in Ft. Worth, TX and settled in Kansas City, MO. While there, she adopted a daughter, Tamara Elizabeth Pitney and a son, Adam Wesley Pitney. After living in Hastings, NE for a time, Janice moved to Raleigh, NC in 1978 where she would spend the remainder of her life.

Janice worked a series of jobs in synch with the emerging Information Technology sector. Her final job was her longest lasting and most enjoyable, and she spent more than nineteen years in the pricing department of General Parts, Inc., the parent company of Carquest Auto Parts which is now Advance Auto Parts.

In 2005, Janice was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She endured multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and other treatments throughout the following decade. While the disease affected her body, it was never able to impact her spirit. Spending time with friends and family was the most important thing in Janice’s life, and she brightened the day for everyone with whom she came into contact.

Janice was an active member in the Order of the Eastern Star, the Red Hat Society, and Oasis. She spoke at Duke University, providing mentorship and support for ovarian cancer patients and their families. Janice was a special friend to everyone she met, and was always available to help. She brought fun and laughter to all family outings, and enjoyed making such items as homemade ice cream and Rice Krispy treats.

Janice was an avid reader and had recently taken up painting as a hobby. Having grown up for a time in Red Cloud, NE, she was also an avid Nebraska college football fan. Janice frequently attended showings of games with the NC Huskers fan club at Sammy’s Tap and Grill, decked out in scarlet Nebraska regalia.

Janice is survived by her brothers, Roger and Mark; sister, Suzanne Baker; daughter Tamara; son, Adam; granddaughter, Corrie; and grandson, Christian. A visitation with the family will be held from 6 to 8 pm on Thursday May 28th at Mitchell Funeral Home, 7209 Glenwood Ave, Raleigh, NC 27612. In lieu of flowers, Janice suggested that donations can be made to or Condolences may be made online at

Daniel “Dan” Raymond Wiley(1946-2013)

Daniel “Dan” Raymond Wiley, of Durham, passed away Sunday, March 17, 2013 at Durham Regional Hospital. Born in Virginia, Dan was the son of the late William Thomas Wiley, Sr. and Rebecca Hoskins Wiley. Mr. Wiley was a member of Grey Stone Baptist Church.

Mr. Wiley is survived by two sisters, Patricia Wiley Marshburn and husband William and Jane Wiley Rigsbee and husband Lewis; a brother, William T. Wiley Jr. and wife Gail; and several nieces and nephews.

Dan served as the president of the Triangle Ostomy Association from 2002 until 2009. His constant smile and outgoing nature will surely be missed by us all.

Charles William “Bill” Sessums(1936-2012)

Charles William “Bill” Sessums, 75, died Friday, March 16, 2012, following a courageous battle with cancer. Bill was born December 15, 1936 to the late Joseph William and Ruth Woodward Sessums in Dallas, TX.

Bill graduated from Hillcrest High School in Dallas in 1955 and attended the University of North Texas in Denton, TX. Bill was a Certified Golf Course Superintendent for the past 43 years including the Director of Golf Course Maintenance, Construction Superintendent and design consultant of Pinewild Country Club of Pinehurst, home of the Magnolia Course, The Holly Course and The Azalea Course, as well as Director of Golf Course Maintenance of Duke University Golf Club retiring in 2011. He was a member of the Golf Course Superintendents Association of America, the Carolinas Golf Course Superintendents Association, and the Sandhills Golf Course Superintendent’s Association.

He is survived by his wife Bonnie B. Sessums, daughters Sharon (Scott) Davis, Linda (Leo) Shalhoup; his sons Tracy(Amy) Sessums, David(MiSun) Sessums; Bonus Children Kelley(Alan) Cale, Cliff(April) Cooper; Grandchildren: Carson Cale, Katey Cale, Callie Cooper, Owen Cooper, Ashley Davis, Ben Davis, Jeremy(Heather) Davis, Christina Pearce, Daniel Sessums, Timmy Sessums, Michael Sessums, Lilli Sessums, Jeremiah Sessums, Nicky Sessums and Shannon Sessums. Bill is also survived by several nieces and nephews and close friends Paula and Ken Espe and Joanne and Lou Holdren. He was preceded in death by his brother Jack Sessums, sister Mary Jo Teague, and grandson Joshua Sessums.

A Memorial Service will be offered 4:00 PM Wednesday, March 21, 2012 from The Duke University Chapel, 401 Chapel Drive, Durham, NC 27708 with Rev. Meghan Feldmeyer, presiding.

In lieu of flowers memorial contributions in Bill’s name may be made to the Carolinas Golf Course Superintendents Association at P.O. Box 210, Liberty, SC 29657 or the Duke University Chapel at P.O. Box 90974, Durham, NC 27708.

Berit Veum (1930-2012)

Berit Veum, 81 of Durham, North Carolina died at home Thursday, January 26, 2012. Berit was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina on November 9, 1930 to the late Greta Holmberg and Alf Veum.

Berit moved to the United States in 1958, living in Boston and vicinity prior to moving to Durham. Survivors are sister Anita Noyes and her husband Francis Noyes of East Hartford, CT. Also a nephew James Noyes and his wife Jenni of Utica, New York, her niece Margaret Essex and her husband Paul of Fairfield, CT, her niece Kathleen Knecht and her husband John of Storrs, CT, her niece Patricia Jones and her husband Dennis of Pamplin, VA, her nephew William Noyes and his wife Natalie of Granby, CT, and her niece Mary Ellen Franciscus and her husband Peter of St. Louis, Mo.

A memorial service will be offered 2:00pm Sunday, February 19, 2012 at Hall-Wynne Funeral Service Chapel, 1113 West Main Street, Durham, NC 27701.

In lieu of flowers memorial contributions in Berit’s name may be made to the Food for the Poor, Inc. at 6401 Lyons Rd., Coconut Creek, FL 33097 or Oxfam America at PO Box 7011, Albert Lea, MN 56007.

This Memorial Obituary provided by Hall-Wynne Funeral Service

LeRoy Edward Hood (1926-2011)

LeRoy Hood passed away on June 19, 2011. He was born in Albany, NY to Edna V. Hood and LeRoy George Hood on January 19, 1926.

He served as a combat crew member in the Army Air Force on B-29 bombers during WWII. He flew combat missions as a mechanic gunner against the Japanese while based on the Island of Tinian in the Western Pacific. After the war he returned home soon married Kathryn Hallenbeck, his wife of 63 years. They moved to Cocoa, Florida and he went to work for Pan American Airways at Cape Canaveral Missile test center as a missile launch complex supervisor. After leaving Florida he moved to Cary, NC where he worked as chief of maintenance and operations at the National Institute of Environmental health Services in RTP. He is survived by his daughter, Susan Barr and her fiancé, Terry Austin of Atlanta, Sanford Hood, his daughter-in-law Michelle and his granddaughter Savannah. He also has a grandson, Richard Larkin, Richard’s wife Amber and their daughter Charlotte.

A memorial service will be held at Resurrection Lutheran Church at 10:00 am Thursday June 23, 2011. In lieu of flowers donations may be made to Meals on Wheels or the debt reduction fund of Resurrection Lutheran Church.

Sidney Charles Kaufmann (1931-2011)

Sidney Charles Kaufmann, 79, passed away Thursday, May 19, 2011. Mr. Kaufmann was born in Jackson Heights, NY on December 17, 1931 to Ralph and Emma Kaufmann. He lived in Commack, NY until moving to Raleigh, NC in 1993. He will always be remembered as a devoted and loving husband, father, grandfather and friend to all.

Mr. Kaufmann is survived by his wife, Elaine; children, Robert, Jill and Carl; grandchildren, Danielle, Justin, Abigail, Samuel, Kelly and Jack; brother, Irving; and beloved dog, Cocoa.

A memorial service was held 11:00 a.m. Monday, May 23, 2011 at Brown- Wynne Funeral Home, 200 SE Maynard Road, Cary, NC. The family received friends immediately after the service.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests memorial contributions to the American Cancer Society, 8300 Health Park, Suite 10, Raleigh, NC 27615.

Kenneth Lee McDilda

Kenneth Lee McDilda of Raleigh, NC,passed away on February 17, 2010, surrounded by his loving family. Ken, a Mason and a Shriner, retired in 2006 as a senior software engineer with Visara International. The father of Michelle and Kristin McDilda, and grandfather of Nathan McDilda, Ken was married to his wife Stephanie for 18 Years.

Ken is also survived by his brothers, Michael McDilda of South Hill, Va., and Ron and his wife Aileen McDilda of Emporia, Va., and a large number of nieces and cousins. He was predeceased by his parents, Claude Raymond and Helen Grace McDilda.

The visitation for Ken will be held Friday, February 26 from 6:00-8:00 pm at Brown-Wynne Funeral Home, 1701 E. Millbrook Rd., Raleigh. The funeral service will be Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm at Benson Memorial United Methodist Church on Creedmoor Rd., immediately followed by the graveside service at Raleigh Memorial Park on Glenwood Avenue.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Masonic Home for Children in Oxford, NC, the Shriner’s Children’s Hospital, or Hospice of Wake County.

Kathy Bong (1962-2009)

The Triangle Area Ostomy Community lost a great friend this week when Kathy Bong passed away. Kathy was a former president of our organization as well as the original webmaster of this site. Kathy always brought a positive attitude and word of encouragement for everyone in our group. She will be greatly missed.

The Raleigh News & Observer reported the following obituary for Kathy:

Kathryn Lenore Bong, 47, died Monday, August 3, 2009 after a courageous 11 year battle with cancer. She was born July 27, 1962 in Minneapolis, MN to Carol and Joyce (Benike) Teig. Kathryn is survived by her husband of 20 years, Paul Bong and daughter, Megan of NC; father and mother, Carol and Joyce Teig of AZ; sister, Karin Grzanek and brother, Wayne Teig of MN. A celebration of Kathryn’s life will be held at 1:00 PM, Tuesday, August 11 at Resurrection Lutheran Church, Cary, NC. The family requests Hawaiian casual attire. In lieu of flowers memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society, 8300 Health Park, Ste 10 Raleigh, NC 27615.

David Martin